Sinking an uncomfortable amount of money into DraftKings’ $10 Masters Milly Maker: Now that’s a tradition unlike any other.
Here’s the thing: I love DFS, always have, always will. I love the daily puzzle of it all. I honestly — this is not a bit — believe it helps keep my mind sharp as I graduate from “middle aged dude” to “still technically a middle aged dude but holy smokes we can see whatever comes after ‘middle age’ on the horizon, and yes, we know it’s called ‘senior citizen’ but shut up, we’re still a good 25 (editor’s note: 12) years away from that.”
My DFS diet is robust: NFL, obviously. MLB, basically every day through NFL kickoff. NBA, basically every day through MLB first pitch. I’m toying with MMA every week, NASCAR when the mood strikes, and if you think I’m not all over the UFL, you’re crazy.
I am, throughout my long and meh-illustrious DFS career, a profitable player. So that’s nice.
I also play golf near-weekly. I am, throughout this segment of my career, quite possibly the worst DFS player in history. I am terrible at it. Almost statistically inconceivable.
To be fair, I don’t know jack diddly about the game. While I rely on my own wits for MLB, NFL, and NBA and use experts, analysts, and the like as backup, I am wholly dependent on experts and analysts for my PGA DFS play. So maybe I’m not a bad PGA DFS player, just a stupid one for blindly following what others think.
Of course, I will not stop doing this, because — I’m told — the best DFS sweat in the world is the golf sweat. I wouldn’t know, as I have never spent a late Sunday afternoon with a few hundred grand on the line, but yep, I’m told it’s a fun way to spend the day.
As such, I will be attempting to win $1 million this weekend, $10 at a time. As I write this on Monday afternoon, I have two entries in. I’ve promised myself I will cap my entries at five, but who are we kidding? I’m good for a dozen, easy, maybe more if I connect on an MLB slate or two leading up to lock.
My plan to win a million bucks? Same as always. Build some lineups based on the best advice — both free and paid — I come across and hope for the best.
As far as plans go, this one is far from foolproof, but all I want is to hope for a sweat. Get me one lousy lineup with all six players through and I’ll be happy.
And, even better, if I happen to beat out the other 480,000-odd lineups, I get to position myself as a PGA DFS expert. Obviously.
I’m fading Scottie. LFG!
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