The NFL season is over. Now what?
After nearly 40 years (oh man, I’m old) of playing fantasy football and betting on football, you’d think I’d have an answer to that question. But I don’t.
The truth is, I always feel adrift the week after the Super Bowl. After spending five-plus months neck deep in the NFL — just like you have — everything feels off.
Take this Tuesday morning, for instance. During the season, I’d already be deep into building DFS lineups, jumping on those early betting lines, and getting hyped for Thursday Night Football. Didn’t matter who was playing — it was football, and that was enough.
But now that it’s over for another year? I mean, sure, I’ll play some NBA DFS and I’ll tell myself I’m excited for baseball season but … yeah. It’s a little depressing.
Here we are, middle of February, and Sunday is going to roll around and … no football.
Now sure, I could theoretically jump in those Underdog streets and draft best ball teams, but as much as I already miss football, I’m not sure I’m ready to commit brainpower to thinking about next season.
Truth is, I do need a break, no matter how much I don’t really want it.
So what should I do? What should we do? How do we get through the next seven or so months before the Eagles face off against whoever on Thursday night, September 4?
Well, I’ve got ideas …
Fantasy Squirrel League: Yeah, me and my kids started one. We track the squirrels in our backyard. We keep it simple; it’s just a “eating entire contents of bird feeder” league. Little Kenny Stabler is killing it right now, though we are concerned he’s going to die from obesity before the season is over.
Chore parlays: Anyone can fold laundry and then crack open a Miller Lite, but I roll the dice and stack laundry (-145), dishes (-120) and outdoor maintenance (+300 this time of year). I hit that parlay, I win a six-pack of craft brew. Sometimes I get crazy and throw in a “not yell at children” (+400) into the mix, and then I get the 8.0 ABV if I hit it.
What color shirt is my neighbor wearing props: I see the guy every morning when I get in my car to drive my kid to school. I honestly don’t know the guy’s name — he lives two doors down — but I do know he is always wearing a shirt. I hit a +700 yellow the other day.
Home Depot 40: I pick a random item at Home Depot, and time how long it takes me to find it. (I’ve never found anything without asking for help once in my life.)
Valentine’s Day best ball: Buy a big box of cheap Valentine’s Day candy, hold a draft, and whichever piece of candy is the last one in the box wins. The dark chocolate with the orange goop is an easy 1.01.
OK who the heck am I kidding. I’m going to draft an Underdog Big Board right now. Life is much more difficult to get through without football. Let’s just inject it straight into the ol’ pigskin.
Also of note: The UFL is back on March 28. All-in on that for the second year in a row. The St. Louis Battlehawks are an offensive juggernaut. #TheMoreYouKnow.
